Santa Fe - sure, why not?
One of my long time friends Lynn (mentioned in an earlier blog about getting my “buffer” dog), a local prisoner rights lawyer and all around adventuress, suggested a trip to San Fe for a belated 50th birthday celebration. She and I have had many adventures together over the years; we met in approximately 1994, after I graduated from college. I needed a “legitimate” job, and thought that getting one in an office (besides working at an athletic club or guiding outdoor trips, which was pretty much the sum total of my working experience) would be a good jumping off point in my “I have no plans after college” future. To go way back in the time machine, I studied Korean language (with a political science minor) in college. I was horrible at the language; but after year two I was too far into it to quit (having changed majors from exercise physiology - I KNOW, it was the mid-’90’s!) and I just wanted to get my damned degree. Long story short, I have zero Korean skills; we now have a running family joke regarding saying ‘bless you’ in Korean after a sneeze. I was posed the question ("bless you") by my then brother-in-law, at some point in my college career; my response at the time was “I don’t fucking know”! So there, now you can speak Korean too, and you are welcome! Just don’t telling anyone I told you so....
Anyway, Lynn hired me for a receptionist/legal assistant job right out of college, with no experience in the law biz (I couldn’t even type) but we hit it off based around a mutual interest in outdoor sports. Lynn was an excellent windsurfer, and I used to guide rafting trips for the Outdoor Program at the college I was attending, so that seemed to bridge any gaps of me not knowing anything about the law, let alone basic office skills. With her guidance, I picked stuff up pretty quick and have been working in the law profession as a paralegal since then. We have maintained our friendship throughout low these many years, and have backpacked and camped together more times than I can count, gone to New York a few times and basically travel well together. Plus she’s a dog person and currently has three, so that makes for an all around awesome human. Anyway, she contemplated a trip to Santa Fe based around a legal seminar that she wanted to attend regarding solitary confinement issues in the prison system (a super light subject!) and asked if I would be interested in joining her for a long weekend, so I decided to force myself out of my rut of self pity and depression and go. Time to start moving forward, or ‘fake it ‘til you make it’. So I got my ticket, booked the dogs for “adventure camp” and tried to wrap my brain around how I was going to use this time to make a difference in my outlook on myself, my future and general all-around attitude.
So the plan is to leave on Friday the 5th. On Wednesday, I told work that I was going to be in late on Thursday because I have to take the dogs to adventure camp, which is about 45 minutes from my house (Double Dog Ranch, best place ever! www.doubledogranch.com/)
After dropping the dogs off, I was driving back through my local town heading the additional 30 miles to work, made a stop and my check engine light started flashing. My car started chugging, then shuddering along…..of course this is happening...I’m leaving on a well deserved vacation!
Was able to limp it into my local mechanic (one of the many great things about living in a small community is knowing people) who tells me I need a new fuel injector. How am I going to get to the airport in the morning?????? Also, I still have to go to work today!!!! Why universe???
This is one of the many moments in time when you realize what you DO have as opposed to what you DON”T have; in this case, an amazing support system. Although I still felt overwhelmed at that moment, I knew who I could rely on to help me. So in the span of an hour, I had a ride home, a ride to the airport in the morning and a pick up from. My FH, gracious as ever, was picking the dogs up for me anyway on Monday and dropping them off at home so they would be there when I got home late Monday night, told me he’d not only do that, but also pick me up at the airport if need be (my friends Teresa M.and Teresa T. - more about them later - agreed to help me so that he didn’t have to). Anyway, a rally cry was sent up by me and the people in my life who care and are close and available were there, no questions asked. Miraculously, the mechanic had my car fixed the same day and I was good to go without having to put anyone out too much (thank you Sue for being able to schlep me around!) All I was out was an extra vacation day from work and a $400 car repair bill.
I think this is the universe is telling me to recognize the positive, not the negative. But I still felt schmoopy. This is when (as my favorite blogger Jennifer Lawson -theblogess.com - would say) depression lies. Sometimes it's HARD to be able to feel your blessings, for lack of a better term. You can see but not feel, or at least the feeling is fleeting; you know you should feel good! but you also feel so bad because you can't stop feeling sorry for yourself, also realizing that your mind set HAS TO CHANGE, but how to you get to that point, legitimately. GET OVER YOURSELF, DUDE!
So my flight leaves in the morning, and I’m waiting for the locusts to descend. If I can get on the plane and get to Santa Fe without anything else happening.....this will be a good thing.
